9 // What's Next

It’s been a little while since I sent out a newsletter. I underestimated the time it would take me to process last year, pick up the pieces of my life back in Australia, and put together an answer to the question I got asked a lot upon returning: What’s next?

I hit the ground running (figuratively, and, literally…) when I returned to Australia. Desperate to find a place to be stationary, I moved into a one-bedroom unit with Australian XCO rider Zoe Cuthbert. Yes, you read that correctly. A one-bedroom. We were both fresh from a gypsy-style year of overseas racing, and we both wanted to find a place to call home while we transitioned towards ‘what’s next’, so we made it work & had some fun.

Once back in Canberra and settling into life with a bed-mate, I quickly found myself becoming increasingly addicted to the thrill of spontaneity. Ride from Canberra to the top of Mount Kosciuszko and back. Sure! How about RUN to the top of Kosciuszko via Hannels spur? Okay?! Ride 340kms to get to Christmas lunch? Delightful! Run a marathon with no training six days later, jump in Lake Burley Griffin at midnight to welcome the New Year, bike-pack to the coast… you get the picture.  I didn’t spend more than four days in one place for the first couple of months after arriving home. I yoyo’d around the East Coast of Australia catching up with friends and family and would return to Canberra for work before scheming up some sort of adventure that would put me on the road again. On route to Tour Down Under, I detoured via Bright for one of the Victorian XCO rounds and fainted whilst stationary on a fire trail. Probably the first little alarm bell that I wasn’t doing that great, despite the endorphin thrill of all these fun adventures and being back on home soil.

I picked myself up, and made my way to the Tour Down Under. Adelaide in January really is the schoolies for cyclists, and it’s always this opportunistic time to catch up with what feels like your entire social media feed. Friends, brands, idols.. they’re all swanning around the South Australian capital. It’s a really special time of year, but inside, I was totally and utterly erupting. It’s crazy. So much of last year I longed for the places and people I knew, and here I was, with the places and people I knew and all I felt was on the edge of having a 2007 Britney Spears meltdown.

For months, I felt like a shell, watching myself interacting with people. Like a puppet smiling and laughing in auto-pilot mode. The meltdown (minus the head-shave) came roadside after racing RADL GRVL, and I soon after scheduled a long-overdue session with a psychologist. I got back to basics and focused on slowing down. I focused on my sleep routine and good food and completely owned to my friends and family that I was not doing okay. Slowly but surely, I started to find so much genuine joy in just engaging with my local environment and community again. Local criteriums, bunches, junior rides, events, less screen time and just being present and grateful for the people around me. I could feel my mental clarity and energy returning, and it was so damn relieving to begin to feel genuinely happier within myself again and a spark return to plan what I wanted to do next.

SO… What is next?! I feel like I have said this a million times: last year was filled with so many unknowns. Whilst I feel that there is so much beauty in the unknown, I’m excited to be packing my bags and heading abroad again soon to chase some unfinished business with a bit more KNOWN. Packing up again feels very different to last year. I feel like I’ve got experience up my sleeve, friendly faces to return to and confidence in knowing I’m capable of handling whatever the unknown may be.

Photo by Phillip Sage, owner of excavator, unknown.

I’m racing in my first Marathon National Championships in Wagga Wagga this coming weekend, and then I’ll be digging out my passport. My first stop is the UK, where I’ll be linking up with family to participate in my first Jack Bloor Memorial Race, before heading up to Scotland to race in the Gralloch. I’m totally romanticising training around the grizzly British villages and the rolling hills of the Dumfries and Galloways - but in reality, I know I’ll probably need my rain jacket and a bit of gumption.

For those new to the newsletter, I started them last year whilst racing the LifeTime Grand Prix. I wanted a way to share stories of the events, the challenges, the funny parts & the reality of it all. I wanted to connect with people beyond the mindless scroll of social media, and hopefully inspire at least one of you to just get after it. 

Thanks for following along - I have a feeling this next chapter will have a few less tow trucks.

Upcoming Races

5th May - Australian Marathon MTB Championships, Wagga Wagga NSW
14th May - Jack Bloor Race, Ilkey Moor, Yorkshire, UK (this will be an emotional one..)
1st June - Unbound, Emporia, Kansas
22nd June - Devils Cardigan, Tasmania

JEEP UPDATE

Jerry is STILL for sale on the broker’s website and looks like an entirely different car. Should we go for round two?!